Relationships are not easy, especially when it comes to those between significant others. No matter how much you love someone, dealing with the ups and downs of life can put a strain on even the strongest of connections.
Dr. Kelly Flanigan is a clinical psychologist who has worked with many women who are struggling with relationship issues. After reflecting on his duties as a therapist, he was inspired to write a letter about love and relationships, and it acts as a wonderful reminder of what is really important for a man to be for his wife.
What makes this note extra special is that fact that it wasn’t just written by this man with experience in his field; it was written by this man to his own daughter—and what he had to say will warm your heart.
After many troubling sessions with his female patients. Dr. Kelly Flanigan noticed a pattern, and he realized that there were many things that husbands don’t—but should—say to their wives. So he was inspired to write a note to his young daughter, and it instantly captured the hearts of everyone around the world.
His letter began like this: “Dear Cutie-Pie. Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was ‘How to keep him interested.’ It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior. And I got angry.”
“Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to ‘keep him interested,'” he continued. “Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest.”
He added: “(If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.) If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word.”
Dr. Flanigan went on: “You will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you. Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting.”
“I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking. I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.”
“I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you. I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.”
“I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart. I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brush strokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.”
He went on: “I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.”
Dr. Flanigan ended his letter in this way: “In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common: You. Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to ‘keep him interested’ is to be you. Your eternally interested guy, Daddy.”
Now is that a tearjerker or is that a tearjerker? What an amazing father! How lucky is his daughter to have him in her life looking out for her best interests and setting such a good example for her?
Share this father’s touching letter with your friends below!