Though it seems archaic, authorities still rely on police sketches to track down criminals. Once the witness details everything they can recall, an artist does their best to turn that into a usable sketch for the detectives on the case. But that only works if the artists are good!
Whether it’s a muddied memory, poor eyesight, or an inexperienced sketch artist, these composites often end up missing their mark. When they do, however, the results are beyond hilarious! Just take these 20 examples of ridiculous police sketches. You won’t believe they were ever actually used to find criminals…
1. Unless this person saw Justin Bieber commit a crime (it’s possible), there’s not really an explanation for the uncanny resemblance to him. Not to mention, the unrefined details of the sketch make it look like this was drawn by a sixth-grader!
2. We don’t really know what crime this man committed, but if pressed, you’d have to guess it wasn’t “boring hair.” At least someone decided to incorporate some technology for this one…
3. The newspaper clipping doesn’t mention it, but apparently the witness told the composite artist that the kidnapper didn’t have eyes. “I saw him go that way, but don’t worry, he definitely didn’t see me.”
4. Can you believe it? Here we thought Eddie Munster was going to have an illustrious career in acting, but he turned out to be a criminal. Let’s just hope Herman Munster teaches him a life lesson before he becomes any worse.
5. This composite makes it appear as though the criminal was a former employee at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. Some folks in England, where the sketch was issued, thought it looked like he had a head of hair made of iceberg lettuce!
6. This is perhaps the worst computer-generated sketch known to man. Is the person’s face filthy or is that supposed to be a beard? Was it a neanderthal who committed the crime? And what’s with the neck? Why is it so blurry? Nothing but questions here…
7. The funny thing about this police sketch is that, aside from the the suspect’s lack of eyes, the details are actually pretty spot on. Who knows—maybe he just didn’t have eyes to begin with!
8. The photo on the right is pretty decent, but look at the composite on the left. “The criminal walked into the restaurant, stuck her head directly into my bowl of ramen, it all stuck to her head, and then she left. That’s all I know!”
9. This computer-generated composite sketch makes it look like the criminal in this case was a video game character with some of the floppiest surfer hair in the world. Someone please bring this Brendan Fraser wannabe to justice!
10. This sketch, if you can really even call it that, definitely looks like a mix between David Spade’s Joe Dirt character and a 1990s professional wrestler. Just be on the lookout for the scrawniest wrestler in the world.
11. It’s hard to really say who’s at fault in this amazing police composite sketch. First off, what in the world is happening with that hair? And the beard! Just… wow. Did the artist make the composite in Microsoft Paint?
12. Now that is one memorable haircut… and not for the right reasons. What makes it so hilarious is that it looks like he has extremely thin and wispy hair, and yet it manages to defy gravity.
13. This might not be the most helpful composite sketch at first glance, but when you give it a second look, it’s clear whoever he is, he’s pretty cool. Those shades really pull his look together.
14. Look at that hat! How in the world is this the best possible sketch that the artist and the witness could come up with? There’s really no explanation as to how this would help anyone find a criminal.
15. Something about this composite screams “drawn by a kindergartener!” Perhaps it’s the lazy detail of the cheeks. Or maybe it’s the nose and eyes. Either way, the person who drew this definitely picked up all of their skills from their elementary school art class.
16. “Okay, so you know how in cartoons when a character sees something they really want, their eyes pop out of their head? Well, the criminal was pretty much like that. He must’ve really wanted to steal that woman’s purse.” Oy vey.
17. This Thailand bank robber sketch looks like a member of Daft Punk. Do the cops really think they have a chance of nabbing him? They’re practically admitting that they have no idea what this guy looked like.
18. This composite isn’t helpful at all. Apparently, the suspect in question was a ninja… or just really, really cold. Unfortunately, he could easily take off his headgear and be completely unrecognizable.
19. You can only assume that this person was wearing a scarf over his face when he committed the crime, so it’s going to be hard to track him down with just one half of his face to work with. Guess it’s safe to say that this case has gone cold.
20. Now this one is just creepy. Either the sketch artist didn’t finish their drawing, or the witness actually saw a faceless man committing the crime. Good luck catching this guy. (Or perhaps that would help you, since he’d be pretty easy to spot?)
Can you believe that any of these people were ever caught? These police sketches are so bad, you’d think these criminals would be on the loose forever.
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