So, you got a car. Maybe you just turned fifty, and it’s a brand new Porsche. Maybe you’re eighteen, and it’s a hand-me-down ’90s station wagon with some serious electrical quirks. Either way, it’s time to hit the bricks in that puppy.
The big question now? How to show off your equally awesome personality to all those other drivers on the road. You could crank up the radio and rock out at the stoplights, but we have another idea: get your paws on a vanity license plate, and spread some laughter like these twenty gems we found below.
1. Dead ahead: If you’re close enough to read the plate on this hearse, you’re too close. Any sudden braking, and you might end up riding in this guy’s backseat, along with whomever or whatever else happens to be back there.
blargsnarg / Reddit
2. Saab, bro: A punny play on the iconic 1999 Anheiser-Busch “whassup?” commercial, this Saab plate just wants to say hey. That fact, coupled with the typical Wisconsin friendliness, almost makes us want to get a Saab. Almost.
userdeleted / Reddit
3. Sassy: Smart car? More like smart aleck. This driver clearly got sick of not being able to park wherever they liked, so they bought a car that would fit in a shoebox and made sure to let the rest of us know.
krunchyLeaves / Reddit
4. Polite: White is the color of innocence, and the plate on this E300 makes it even better. The original Redditor who posted this picture captioned it, “got cut off today, wasn’t even mad.” Good manners aren’t dead after all.
hamburgerthievery / Reddit
5. Existential awareness: Turns out there’s more than one Texas driver with a white car and a lighthearted, self-referential sense of humor. If we were five years old, we’d probably roll our window down and say hi to it.
Yours_and_mind_balls / Reddit
6. Im-timidating: Time for a little history lesson. Vlad the Impaler was a 15-century ruler in Romania, and his nickname came from his preferred method of killing people: impaling them. He inspired the legend of Dracula, and is a strong presence to invoke over a license plate.
Captain_Chaos7 / Reddit
7. Wheely clever: Considering how many loads commercial semi trucks are hired to pull, this seems like a cosmic coincidence. That, or the truck owner had an excellent sense of foresight. We’re just hoping it isn’t Photoshop.
SelectAll_Delete / Reddit
8. Oops: Is that license plate a self-fulfilling prophecy or what? Apparently, the owner of this ill-fated Civic was eating cereal while driving when it fell into her lap. That takes talent — both to balance a bowl of cereal, and to flip a Honda, because those things are safe.
KristenMosuch / Imgur
9. 1.21 gigawatts: Great Scott! The only thing more impressive than this Delorean casually parked streetside in Asheville, North Carolina, is the notion that Doc and Marty would stop their inter-timeline travels for a quick bite at Chick-fil-A.
Papi_Queso / Reddit
10. Cheeky: Must be nice. You could checkmate this Tesla in a Chevy Suburban labeled “battery fires lol,” but that’s a cheap shot a little too long for a license plate — even if you weren’t stuck at the gas pump while the Tesla sped by.
olalof / Reddit
11. Rub it in: Does it still count as a midlife crisis if you’re loud and proud about it? With zero kids to worry about and a sweet sportsmobile to show off all that freedom, all we see is a picture full of win.
CBUSraver / Reddit
12. Mordor: Ah, this takes us back to the early 2000s, when every school-aged fantasy geek was utterly obsessed with the Lord of the Rings (remember that one guy with the binder full of LOTR trading cards?). Anyway, it’s good to see the fandom thriving and driving.
13. Not gross: This one’s kinda cute. Volkswagen Beetles, or “Bugs,” are central to many a road game — punchbuggy, no punch-backs, anyone? — but we’re partial to this fond parallel between the car and its real-life insect cousin.
geekyspacegirl420 / Reddit
14. It’s serious: This one takes “yo mama” jokes to a whole new level. Seems like the driver and your mom actually had a significant relationship, or at least one that involved sharing garments. At least they parted as friends.
kassidy_jeanette2 / Ask.fm
15. 404 Error: Car Not Found. Come to think of it, this might be a great way to fool those speed trap cameras along the road nowadays…imagine the chaos if a computer put in an actual 404 error instead of a license plate number.
16. Attention grabber: Nothing says, “Hey officer, here’s an easy ticket to add to your monthly quota,” like a Chevy Silverado with a BEER ME license plate. Maybe the rules of the road are a little more relaxed in Alaska.
17. Flashy: Now there’s a color scheme straight out of ’90s youth culture if we ever saw one. Luckily, the owner seems to have a good excuse for it — or at least a good sense of humor.
Datnorwegian / Imgur
18. Showbiz culture: Not enough letters to plug your favorite band? Don’t let that stop you! Spotted in the parking deck of the ICM talent agency in downtown Los Angeles, this rock ‘n’ roll fan’s license plate is a creative use of space.
doctorow / Flickr
19. Boxy: Nissan Cubes take a lot of heat from the car community, so if you’re going to drive one, you’d better be prepared to roll with the jabs. This Cube owner got out ahead of the mockery by referencing a Rubik’s cube on their plate.
forwhombagels / Reddit
20. Buyer’s remorse: Everybody wants a sports car until they see the price tag. Sticker shock isn’t always a deterrent, though, as was the case with this motivated driver. Looks like the reality hit later, when they sat down to crunch numbers on their monthly payment.
Funny License Plates / WordPress
And hey — license plates aren’t the only way to show your character. Some opt for modifications, though these drivers went a little too far: Why do this guy make his vehicle so high? Probably so he had room to play beer pong underneath.
2. Bumper Sticker Overload: It’s one thing to point out that your child is an honor student. But stickers become a serious problem when you plaster your entire personality over your vehicle. Besides, they’re an invitation for bookworm drivers to tailgate you.
3. Car Faces: You ever notice what seems like a human face on a car or other inanimate object? That’s a neat phenomenon called pareidolia. What’s less neat is when drivers try to make their cars look like Herbie or Lightning McQueen with goofy facial features.
4. Ugly Wraps: Just because you can put any design on your car doesn’t mean you should. Clearly, the creator of this Louis Vuitton wrap thought it was the epitome of class, but the logos make it look like a giant purse.
5. DIY Body Work: Some speed racers out there mod their cars with supplies bought at their local hardware store. That lame teardrop shape won’t make this guy’s ride more aerodynamic, but his lack of friends in the car should help his MPG.
Reddit / stk58
6. Scissor doors: If you’re climbing out of a Lamborghini or DeLorean — you lucky time traveler — vertically rotating doors are a nice touch. But if you install scissor doors on an economy car, you’re just polishing a turd.
7. Fake Logos: There’s no shame in driving a standard sedan or mid-size car. But attaching a Ferrari logo to a regular vehicle is just embarrassing. It’s basically the auto version of a tuxedo t-shirt.
8. Novelty Interiors: Responsible auto owners know the inside counts as much as the outside. Still, it’s not a good look when you deck out your interior with a cartoonish theme. Anyone driving a Hello Kitty-mobile probably isn’t responsible enough to own a car.
9. Lopsided Wheels: For starters, adjusting the camber of your tires to such a steep angle makes your car look drunk. But on top of that, the mod barely gives you any clearance above the road. One speed bump and you’re done for!
10. Flames All Over: Cool off, Guy Fieri. A couple flame decals are tacky enough, but an entire ring of fire tells everyone that your aesthetic tastes haven’t changed since you were 10 years old. Didn’t you have some Hot Wheels with the same pattern?
Reddit / theghostofme
11. Gigantic Stereo Systems: There’s something magic about listening to your favorite tunes behind the wheel — unless you blast them so loudly that your entire car vibrates. A stereo that takes up your whole backseat is just an expensive way to go deaf.
12. Donks: No, this isn’t a slang term for butts. A “donk” is a custom car that has oversized wheels that lift the body off the street like an old-timey bicycle. Not even a clever pun like “Donk’n Donuts” will soften the blow of wasting so much cash.
MotorTrend / Brandon Lim
13. Underglow: Neon strips are for diner signs, not the underside of your car. This accessory might look impressive the first night you try it out, but ultimately it turns your automobile into an overpriced Lite Brite.
14. Fart-Cans: The biggest idiots on the highway just have to prove that they have a bigger engine than everyone else, even if they don’t. These oversized exhausts help desperate liars by making every rev obnoxiously loud — and stinky too.
15. Six wheels: Unless you’re steering a tractor-trailer, you really don’t need more than four tires. An extra pair will make onlookers think that either your car is about to fall apart or that there’s been a glitch in the Matrix.
16. Tail Light Text: Police will give you a ticket if your tail light is out. But society will give you the cold shoulder if you turn your lights into troll-worthy messages. You can only be so clever with six characters.
Reddit / timwang6
17. Too Shiny: You know that beautiful gleam of a freshly washed car? Well, metallic paint jobs ruin that wonderful sight. Not only does this style look tacky, but it’s also likely to blind everyone else on the road.
18. Custom Pickup: Driving a truck can make you feel supremely macho, but homemade versions are never as cool. One big no-no is transforming a regular car into a pickup, especially when it’s as small as a Mini Cooper. Have fun hauling a single cardboard box.
19. Oversized Spoilers: When it comes to movies and automobiles, you want to avoid big spoilers. An accessory fit for a Formula One racer looks very out of place when you’re scanning the Target parking lot for a space.
20. Fake Wood Paneling: Why are retro-minded road hogs obsessed with making their doors look wooden? This design isn’t making your ride any more eco-friendly. What’s really unfortunate is that people with disastrous DIY car mods often make the same mistakes everywhere else.
Twitter / Brian Libby
21. Like in their homes! This design alleviates the hassle of having to walk a long distance from the bed to the bathroom when you really gotta go. However, it doesn’t fix the problem of everyone watching you while it happens.
22. Looks like someone finally splurged and got some air conditioning. Unfortunately, now they need to enjoy the cool air from a place other than their bed seeing as they positioned this behemoth directly on top of it.
23. Well, the one positive thing you could say about this structure is that the person definitely measured correctly. But, they’re in a world of trouble if they ever need to get into that toilet’s tank.
24. This is the result of someone MacGuyvering a mop in an attempt to unscrew a light bulb. Now, the only thing they have hanging from their ceiling is a massive blunder.
25. What the heck is going on with this thing? This homeowner is living on a prayer if they think duct tape will hold up a 20-pound porcelain toilet tank forever.
26. Hey, when you gotta go, you’ll literally look for anything that will immediately help alleviate the discomfort. But, sitting on tire treads and rope while trying to find solace may not be the way to do it.
27. This piece of equipment was so old and busted it needed a light switch rigged up to work. Imagine having company over and explaining your television works via a light switch.
28. Whoever screwed this seat on must have done it while the thing was folded or else they would have immediately realized they were going about things very wrong. Best to stand rather than take this seat.
29. You can imagine this family saw the picture of the snowman tree and couldn’t wait to build one for their home. It’s just too bad their final version looks like something out of a nightmare.
30. When someone tells you they have an island in their kitchen, it’s hard not to feel impressed. When they tell you the island is the size of a water fountain, it’s hard not to feel embarrassed.
31. It doesn’t look like much entertaining will get done with a backyard dinner table broken into thousands of pieces. They should just lay some wood on the frame. Boom, good as new.
32. Seems like a pretty good way to ensure a bolt doesn’t unscrew on its own… not! While this may be a temporary fix, something like this really requires a professional’s touch.
33. This must be like platform nine and three quarters in the Harry Potter world. Just charge up the steps as quick as you can in hopes you’ll pass through the wall onto a magical train platform.
34. Drawers. Yea, they’re pretty important when you have stuff you need to keep off the counter tops. A design like this ensures you’ll never see some of your stuff ever again.
35. Pool safety is of the utmost importance if you plan on inviting neighborhood kids over to swim, but this homeowner certainly missed that memo. Unless, of course, they were trying to rid the neighborhood of those pesky kids.
36. This is the last sink you’d ever want to wash your hands in. It looks like a team of toddlers was hired to glue down these tiles with those clunky glue sticks we all used in grade school.
37. This person tried as hard as they could to put together one of those headache-inducing IKEA products. Unfortunately, a panic attack was always just minutes away, and they succumbed to it.
38. Okay, this might look a little tacky, but if we’re talking practicality? For someone who clearly doesn’t have the money to turn two faucets into one, it actually works really well.
39. If any member of a fire department walked into an apartment and saw this absolute disaster, they’d evacuate the building until the person who did this received some serious fire safety training.
40. This is comedy gold. Someone wanted to engrave this very important piece of advice into a plaque and they themselves didn’t follow their own rule…or they’re in on a rather clever joke. Either way, it’s good for a laugh!
41. Most people would agree that a pop of color would brighten any room, but seven different colors is a bit too festive don’t you think? Still, Barbies used as casual decor is pretty special.
42. Usually, when you see marble in a kitchen it’s stunning… and it’s also real and, you know, not sponge painted across every single cabinet. This looks more like a crime scene than ancient Rome.
43. From the decorations in the room, it’s clear they were going for a western theme, but they missed the mark on the island. What, we think, is supposed to be a large kidney bean just looks like a large… well, human kidney.
44. After finishing the renovation to this kitchen, they realized they forgot to leave room for the refrigerator. Clearly, the perfect solution is to create a smaller hut in the middle of their open-concept kitchen to house it. Problem solved.
45. At first glance, this kitchen looks spacious, stocked with built-in appliances and a pantry with extra storage. Then you realize that opening the doors is a problem: if you need them all open at once, you have to work through a puzzle first.
46. Somebody didn’t measure the space available before ordering these office kitchen cabinets. It’s fine, though. They’re just for an office so no one is really going to want to store disposable kitchenware for company meetings or anything.
47. Tiny houses are all the rage these days. They’re small living spaces, but they have all the amenities. The lofted toilet right above the kitchen, however, is a poor design choice.
48. Putting any sort of appliance with a door in the corner is sure to backfire. The first time anyone tries to open the dishwasher door, it’s immediately followed with an instant “facepalm” gesture. This is a classic kitchen mistake.
49. Double sinks are great for separating dishes into two loads: one for rinsing and one for washing. Unfortunately, this faucet wasn’t designed for this duel sink action. Maybe the second sink can be used for drying because no water is ever going to reach it.
50. With this renovation, after binging on a four-course Sunday dinner, you can just draw yourself a bath and let the digestion process begin. You don’t even need to wait for your guests to leave because you can still entertain them from the comfort of your bathtub. Maybe this design fail is actually a success.
51. Green is a nice color. Bathrooms look good painted green, bedrooms look good painted green, dining rooms look good painted green. Kitchens do not look good painted green. Spearmint gum was not the way to go with this kitchen renovation.
52. Not really sure what’s going on in this kitchen. Ignoring the fact that there’s an open toilet in the same vicinity as a microwave, there’s also a clear shower in between said toilet and microwave. Talk about an open concept.
53. It’s silly to expect to be able to open all of your drawers without having to move something out of the way, isn’t it? Doesn’t everyone have to open their oven door just to open the drawer that stores the oven mitts?
54. Islands are great for extra counter space. This tiny island, on the other hand, doesn’t really cut it in the space department. Guess you could say this island is… a little remote.
55. Assembling your own furniture is really complicated. See exhibit A below: we wouldn’t suggest sitting on this chair, but it makes for a great statement piece. And did anyone notice there’s an oven next to a washing machine in the background?
56. Hello Kitty is a wildly popular franchise, but who knew they made kitchenware as well? Here, it must always feel like you’re cooking in a play kitchen. Imagine what the rest of the house looks like…
57. Exposed ductwork is the new exposed brick these days. The shiny chrome coloring goes great with the stainless steel appliances and definitely adds character to the plain finishes on the cabinets and countertops.
58. If green or pink aren’t your colors, then purple definitely is. The contrast between the royal, glossy purple cabinets and the gray and white accents is nothing short of noble. Not to mention the mirror in the corner so you can watch yourself prepare raw chicken.
59. Nothing beats doing dishes with a view. This kitchen gets bonus points for allowing you to watch the sun glitter on the lake, observe birds in their natural habitat, and soak up nature at it’s finest… if you could just see over the barbecue.
60. What might have looked good in this designer’s head was not executed very well. It looks like they just took extra cabinet doors and glued them to the front of a stainless steel refrigerator. It’s surprising the oven doesn’t have wood finishing either, but maybe that’d be too much…