Listen, it’s tough working a minimum wage job stocking shelves. The hours are long, the customers expect you to know where every single product is, and people are often rude. So, workers find ways to cope by cleverly arranging signs.
Not only do these supermarket employees provide us with the vital service of fresh food sales, so we can stay alive, they also provide us with the other human essential: laughter. Next time you step out for groceries, be sure to thank the staff for gifting us hilarious moments like those we’ve compiled here.
1. Hurray: It’s no secret that mom and dad can’t wait for summer to end so they can hand their little monsters over to state-sponsored daycare — oops, we meant public school — and get their time back, but this grocer could’ve kept the celebratory mood a little more discreet.
2. Baby gets what baby needs: No, no, baby won’t need alcohol until baby’s at least twenty-one, or eighteen in Europe. Baby needs a nice long nap and — uh oh, baby’s got a pitchfork and a list of demands. Baby insists.
3. Sacked: A good nuts joke is the failsafe of the comedy world. Easy to do, low hanging fruit, always there for you. We really just wanted to write “heh, heh, nut sacks” for this caption and let the picture hold its own, but we couldn’t get away with it.
4. Yuck: Inspect carefully for dingleberries before purchasing. Asses aside, that’s only seventy-five cents per muffin, which is a pretty good deal unless they’re a gross flavor, like jalapeno, or maybe raisin.
5. Details: The obvious joke here is the addition of 48 unprecedented hours to the Gregorian calendar, but we’re more fixated on the giant array of Tupperware, which this store has slyly labeled as “CASH ATM & CREDIT CARDS” and some unknown product called “99 Thanks”.
6. Fine print: “Listen to me, son — Betty Crocker don’t mess around. She came from hard times. She does what it takes to make the sale. If you want to stick your nose in her business, that’s your loss. The rest of us just look the other way.”
7. “Orange”: Look, it’s not nice to make fun of colorblind people — especially around the holidays, where they have it pretty rough with all that red and green. Maybe this Walmart employee just wasn’t getting paid enough to double-check all the price signs they were putting up.
8. No one will notice: Rarely do we see a sign that would benefit from those misplaced quotation marks the internet loves to make fun of, but this would be one of them. “Out” Of Pretzels. Out of cares to give.
9. False advertising: Hey, maybe if you cut ’em open, they’ll actually taste like citrus. But you have to buy one first. No, we can’t show you. Just buy one and find out.
10. Defense: Listen, kid, the staff at the local Target heard about that hallway gang who’s been beating you up, and, uh, we wanted to do something special, maybe help you out. We can’t legally tell you to look on aisle 11, but…
11. Cat sand: Alongside these exotic varieties, we also stock Facial Cat, Paper Cat, and Bath Cat, a rare breed that won’t claw your face off when you have to wash it after it jumps onto the counter, misses, and falls into the trashcan.
12. Well-rounded meal: The next aisle over, “lunch,” stocks bar peanuts and Maker’s Mark, and by the time you get to “dinner” on aisle 8, it’s just one long row of pure ethanol and a few jars of maraschino cherries.
13. Avert your eyes: Security needed on aisle seven. The Pillsbury Dough Boy is freeballing again. No, we can’t fire the guy, he’s responsible for 80% of our quarterly baked-good sales. Just tell him to keep it in his pants, er, canister.
14. We’re gonna need a mop: It’s more of a sign of the times than an actual sign. Among the misspelled price tags you can also find teenagers prone on the unwashed tile, being given citations for smashing milk jugs in what their generation deems “a prank.”
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15. Tragedy: After nine consecutive “you still awake?” texts, Peter accepted that his night was not going to go according to plan. Luckily, Dreyer’s Rocky Road would never let him down, and the Shop ‘n’ Save employees left the freezer untouched for a week as a solemn shrine to the fickleness of fortune.
16. Havin’ a laugh: Oy, mate, did ya hear? Word around the city is yer old pal Morrison’s got a bellend as thin as a wafer. ‘Course, we all guessed it after he took to wearing those skinny jeans.
17. Lazy: Either this supermarket is illegally dipping its toes into the exotic meat trade, or the employee in charge of making labels probably just meant to type “loin” and misspelled. 3/10 stars.
18. Hot tickets: Stockist-ushers are standing by to answer all your questions, including, “What time will the pork event start?” “Will the event be appropriate for all ages?” And, of course, “Do I have time to run to the snack aisle for some pre-popped movie theater popcorn?”
19. Aisle five: Clearly the response of a frustrated grocer after being asked far too many times where the Asian foods were, this sign might actually help if it repeated its message in languages other than English.
20. Costco, we love you. However, this sign would probably be better suited for the break room. No customer wants to bear the guilt of on-the-job accidents while they weigh the pros and cons of lucky charms over frosted flakes.
21. For your celebration sheet cakes, whether for birthdays, anniversaries, or company events, trust the Costco bakery to make that occasion a bit sweeter. You might want to triple check they’ve got the correct message to avoid this scenario.
22. They really do have everything, don’t they? No matter what’s on your list, somewhere, in the belly of Costco, you’ll find it. While nabbing some essentials, and some nonessentials too, this shopper caught a glance of the famously hard to track down Waldo.
23. Pulling into the parking lot, you see this bag of bones hanging out in the spot across the way. Hey, we’ve all been there, pal. It’ll be a quick visit, they said. Just need to grab a few things, they said.
24. There we go. Pull your trunk up to the spigot and let ‘er rip. It has to be legal if it’s embossed on a plaque. Otherwise, all the employees would be walking past it day after day completely oblivious to this goof up, and that’s hardly likely.
25 Before you pass judgment, remember that having to pee is a natural reaction to extreme excitement. This hungry customer hopped in line for a tasty Costco slice, and once that hot ‘za was in their hands, they made a gleeful dash to the can.
26. Wandering through aisle after aisle reading about mind blowingly good deals, a certain level of exhaustion sets in. They call this Costco fever. So that giant teddy bear at that table could be a mirage. Nevertheless, join him at the table and lean into the madness.
27. Costco, you’ve won mass approval. There’s no need for employees to set traps to ensnare your shoppers. Those delicious samples keep everyone coming back for more. Jokes aside, this was one worker’s best attempt to trap a pigeon flying loose in the store.
28. Dare you to give this toilet paper a whirl smack dab in the middle of aisle five. Whoever decided to sample Quilted Northern must have had a grudge against this employee. Forcing a grown man to rip off individual squares of tp is cold blooded.
29. “Stan, we’re running low on chilled children. Down to our last one. By the looks of him, he’s reaching his shelf life.” Presumably, this is what the vested workers are communicating since no one made any moves to free the kid from the freezer.
30. Head on down to Costco for your enormous drinking vessel needs. You’ll find it in its usual spot, right next to the giant wall utensils and the comically large pencils. Now…if only there was something to fill it…
31. After passing through the electronics, frozen foods, housewares, and everywhere else in between, it’s understandable that your dogs would be tired. This savvy shopper arrived at Costco with a plan of action. Browsing on a hoverboard meant lasting deal-chasing stamina.
32. Anyone who’s walked through the aisles of Costco has marveled over some of their more niche products thinking, “who in the heck needs that?” Rest assured, if a boat load of bread ends up on your doorstep, Costco will be there with the dip.
33. It’s pretty sound logic. Costco had one rotisserie chicken left. This person snagged it, bought it, and ran it out to the car. They made use of nature’s heat lamp and slapped that chicken on the dash.
34. Welcome to Costco, where fruits look gigantic and you nod in acceptance. Just imagine the amount of toast you’d need to accommodate an avocado this big. It’s guaranteed a customer took one of these home with extreme pride about expanding their palate.
35. Since Costco won’t let their most devoted fans move in, this guy did the next best thing. After the conclusion of his lengthy shopping trip, spending as much cash as he did energy, he purchased some mattresses and didn’t seem to plan on leaving.
36. Keep this in mind when you run to grab that family pack of toilet paper. Don’t worry, though. Costco’s got you covered. There’s a 20% off sale on inflatable rafts and canoes. Or better yet, wait out the storm while eating free samples.
37. Nothing makes the mouth water like the prospect of firing up the grill and getting a crispy sear on a tub of laundry detergent. The employee in charge of floor displays might need a 15-minute break.
38. Marty, we get it, you eat Tide Pods! First the grill display, now you’re sampling. You know customers will blindly accept anything free, you sudsy devil. Now we have to warn the bakery department to check for laundry soap snuck into pastries.
39. Stepping into Costco is like entering a parallel universe. One with items in bulk that never really needed to exist in the first place and models that are dead ringers for Elijah Wood, just in a different gender.
40. It stings in a different way, eh, Costco? Wink. This labeling mix-up is all fun and games, but according to pricing error laws, stores have to abide by their posted signs. So, when your mom asks if you followed through on your flu shot, show her the receipts.
41. If the variety of products, oodles of free samples, and unbeatable bulk values don’t bowl you over with Costco love, there’s still some good laughs hidden around every industrial warehouse corner. This golden nugget is a prime example.
42. Costco wants you to get your money’s worth. When you order a hot dog, you bet that baby’s coming lined with a lethal amount of jalapenos and raw onions. Enough for each bite to burn into your memory.